When we explicitly or implicitly give others the responsibility to solve a mutual problem, we are removing ourselves from the process and diminishing our voice. With time, it then becomes harder to contribute to the discussion or the solution and inevitably we become silent.
Without assertively sharing the responsibility for joint problem solving, we leave the decision about an outcome that affects you, up to someone else who doesn’t really know what we think or feel about the problem or what we believe is the ideal solution.
A solution is delivered – and guess what? It’s not the one we wanted. Now very much disgruntled, we can blame the other person for not listening and for deliberately trying to upset us. A win/win outcome is not possible until we understand our responsibility, take assertive action in fulfilling our right to be part of the discussion and happily embrace our role in a collaborative problem solving process.