This quote from famous US author, Max Lucado rings so true for all conflict situations we can think of.
In all of life’s situations, it is how we chose to respond (and not react) that will determine whether the outcomes of conflict are constructive or destructive. Remembering that we have the option to avoid combat, that we are in control, should strengthen us to be more assertive when confronted with conflict. Being aggressive and combative in conflict (or using complete avoidance tactics) is only hiding our intention to ‘win’ the battle and so force the other party to lose.
Recognising that conflict is an opportunity for enquiry, learning and problem solving supports our intention of working toward a win/win outcome. The first step is to value the humanity of the person we are in conflict with.